lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's blow job season.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
