what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You can't special order awesome
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
