She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
