So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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