I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
