I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
