I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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