So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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