Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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