your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize