Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
