Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
