Cold hands, warm shart.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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