why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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