i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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