Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am available for nakedness
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
