Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i think i just lost a toe
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
