its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
