When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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