tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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