Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The maid of honor just puked.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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