My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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