hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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