Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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