I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
