You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
