how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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