so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
These tits shall not be calmed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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