Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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