why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
