I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
