i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
