He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
