If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
