I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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