so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
