He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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