Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
