ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize