I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
