whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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