I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
