I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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