She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
