So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
