Sponge bath it is.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
