3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize