You're completely useless in the revolution.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize