I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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