Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
