he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Randomize
