Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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