You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
