Please, let me fuck your mom
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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