HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize