Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
