Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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