ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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